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For those who take life too
seriously
1. Save the
whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like . . night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people
have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of
payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong
lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have
film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn
louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what happened.
25. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all
fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates it's more like a jar
of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass
tomorrow.
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